Men’s Health Month: Healing Begins with Friendship

Every June, Men’s Health Month reminds us to shine a light on the serious health challenges men face, both physical and emotional. But while national campaigns raise flags about issues like heart disease, prostate cancer, and suicide, I want to focus on something more personal, more immediate, and more powerful than policy or awareness: friendship.

Yes, friendship.

There’s a term we hear more often these days: The Empathy Gap. It refers to the quiet and sometimes unintentional way society overlooks men’s health needs — physically, mentally, and emotionally. We talk a lot about male strength but not enough about male suffering. We say, “Take care of yourself,” but don’t always check in to see how someone’s really doing. The result? A generation of men who are dying six years earlier than women, many from causes that could be prevented if they felt safe to talk, safe to ask for help, and safe to be vulnerable.

That safety doesn’t start in a clinic. It starts at home. It starts with a friend.

So, how can we help close the empathy gap? Not through expensive programs or medical breakthroughs, but through simple human connection. Ask the men in your life how they’re doing, then wait for the real answer. Suggest a walk, a round of golf, or a meal together. Something casual that creates space for honest conversation. If you’re a man, let your guard down with someone you trust. Talk about the stress. Talk about the sleep. Talk about the silence.

Some of the most preventable health issues like high blood pressure, depression, and diabetes go untreated not because there’s no care available, but because too many men avoid it until it’s urgent. That reluctance is often built on decades of conditioning that say, “push through,” “man up,” or “deal with it.” We need to retire those phrases. Health isn’t weakness. Ignoring it isn’t strength.

Real strength is knowing when to ask for help. Real strength is checking in on a friend who seems off. Real strength is choosing to make time for yourself and for someone else.

If you’re unsure where to begin, start small. Reach out to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Offer to go with someone to their doctor's appointment. Normalize conversations about stress, aging, and mental health. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, just show up. Because showing up, even awkwardly, is still showing care.

As a physician, I’ve spent decades treating patients, but some of the most impactful healing I’ve witnessed doesn’t happen in an exam room. It happens in conversations. On porches. In cars. At kitchen tables. This Men’s Health Month, let’s do more than raise awareness, let’s raise each other up. One kind question, one honest answer, one friend at a time.

For your health,

Dr. Borden

James P. Borden, MD
Internal Medicine